Since I was 16 I have been a 00, 0, 2, 4, 6, pregnant, 10, 8, 6, pregnant, 10, 8, pregnant, 8, 6, 4, 2, pregnant, 6, 8, 10, 12, 10, 8, 6, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 10, 8. Those are my sizes throughout my life; my numbers. Those were my ever-present source of shame. Those were the numbers that took up space in my thoughts every. single. day. Those were the numbers that dictated how I felt about myself; the numbers that were a measure of my self-worth. Those were the numbers that had at times kept reconnecting with old friends and meeting new friends because I feared their judgment. Those were the numbers that even though I love who I am on the inside, kept me from loving myself wholly. Those were the numbers that have kept me out of the pool on hot summer days. Those were the numbers that made me so quick to volunteer to be the photographer so I wouldn't have to be in the picture. Those were the numbers that made me feel fat when I looked in the mirror - all of those