Grace For the Moment

My husband and I are separated and it is brutal on my kids. For the past 10 days our wounded souls have been battling it out over what is best for the kids and what is best for each of us individually, all the while trying to find the ever elusive solution that suits everyones needs. Impossible. And fight we did. Our pain and sadness spilled out in every direction disguised as anger and frustration, inflexibility and selfishness. And maybe that needs to happen - they're all real, all those emotions - in all their rawness and ferocity - and they have every right to be expressed. But I carried with me the burden of knowing the worst in me had won out in the end. Arrogance trumped confidence, and stubbornness won out over reason.

But tonight, a moment of grace. My husband came over to talk again about the weekend arrangements and for a short half of an hour, the best parts of ourselves met up and had a conversation ruled by restraint and humility with the beautiful result of cooperation and compromise. And I am so grateful. It is still so sad, but without the taste of bitterness - so much more palatable that way.

I think I will rest in this grace for the moment, knowing that there are more battles to be fought, but resting in the hope that in the end, grace trumps heartache.

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ErinMarch 2, 2012 at 8:23 AM
hugs my friend, eos
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