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Keep Rising

    I wrote a book, well, I wrote a second revision of my book. It's personal and in it, I expose the darkest time in my life. It is raw and vulnerable. I don't hold back talking about my shortcomings and the emotional abuse I endured. Admittedly, it is a hard read and has some difficult content and mature themes.

    I was so lonely and broken during that time, and after I made it out of that relationship, I realized that I wasn't alone. And that realization was integral in my healing. I wrote this book to tell my story, but more importantly to help those who have had similar experiences; to give them a voice and hope. I also wrote it for the friends and family of those who struggle with depression and living in an abusive relationship. I hope to offer insight on what it is to be tapped in the middle of abuse. 

    I'm in the process of getting beta readers to critique it to get some constructive feedback so I can improve the book. I received a harsh critique the other day, and it was so demoralizing. I know I need to have a thick skin during this process and that I don't have to accept everyone's ideas.  I also have a very focused target audience, and she is not a part of that audience. Honestly, I put so much stock in her review because she is an established author who works closely with congress and was name Black Woman of the Year in Canada. Those are some high standards.

    She thought I needed to infuse more happiness and hope during the Fall (the book is entitled The Fall and The Rise) to make it easier for the reader to carry on. I'm going to try to do just that because she isn't the first person to say that. She ended her critique by suggesting I read a book entitled, It Starts with Us. The book has a similar them and she thought I could gather some tips from that author. However, she admits she hasn't read the book herself - and it's a romance fiction novel. I don't have the luxury (or the desire) to manufacture ficticious, happy times in the midst of a time in my life that felt completely devoid of hope. Her most hurtful comments were "I had to force myself to keep reading," and "I wanted to hit you in the head and say, 'wake the 'f 'up'". Ouch.

    Even as I write this, I hear the defensive tone in my voice. I can't help it. We don't all walk the same paths in life. It's my story, and it's a story worth telling - even if it is hard to hear. It should be; it's hard to tell. So, I'm going to persevere. Because that was only one person's opinion, and the whole book is about getting knocked down and picking myself back up. I've been through worse than a negative review; much worse. Sometimes, you just gotta keep rising.



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