Dare to Love Again

My kids have discovered the timeless game of Truth or Dare. Remember that one? You pick a challenge and you have to do it; tell the truth or do a dare. Truth. Who do you like? Dare. I dare you to ask him out. And if you really wanted to increase the stakes, you could always use the Triple Dog Dare.

My daughter was playing with a friend the other day and she asked me, “What’s a good Truth I can ask?” I threw out a few suggestions, each one met with, “I already know that.” Apparently, she knows her friend pretty well. It got me thinking. What a great way to get to know someone. Asking for the honest truth. No pretenses, no facades. Just open, naked honesty. You know what? Let’s play a round. I choose Truth.

Truth. What’s your biggest fear?

If you know me at all, you know that birds are at the top of my phobia list. An irrational yet deep-seated fear of the winged creatures with beady eyes and more importantly, sharp beaks - the perfect size for pecking out your eyes.

But if we’re going for naked honesty, I’d have to say at this moment it would be opening up my heart to someone again. I met someone the other day. And I like him, really like him. It's a strange feeling that has been dormant for a long time. As it begins to stir, it’s both exciting and terrifying at once. It’s such a risk, and not a calculated risk like the kind I don’t mind taking. There are high stakes at risk, my heart. This precious treasure that I have spent the better part of the last 8 years trying to heal and protect. The last time I gave my heart to someone, it got trampled on and smashed into a thousand pieces. But I am determined not to keep my heart hidden or let it harden. A tender heart is a part of who I am, and even though it makes me more vulnerable, I wouldn't change that about myself. I refuse to surrender the kindness of my heart to the meanness of the world.

But I have learned that not everyone is deserving of my heart and the love that lies within. My heart belongs to someone that will be gentle and careful with it and recognizes the treasure that it is; someone who would appreciate the gift that is being offered and accept it with humility and gratitude. That’s a lot of stipulations, but it’s what I deserve. I learned that too.

But there are still so many questions. Am I ready? Is it time? Will my heart be safe? Have I learned enough about myself? Will I be true to myself? Can I set and maintain boundaries?

Truth. I have no idea.

I’ve finally gotten to a point of balance. I’m content, and I’ve rediscovered the joy in the everyday business of just living life. I like my return to the uncomplicated simplicity of my life. Do I dare add something more at this time? Do I dare let someone into my inner circle? Do I dare open my heart to someone again?

I guess I’ll never find out unless I try. I’ve remembered how to live again, maybe I can remember how to love again. C'mon, I Triple Dog Dare ya!

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