Enough is Enough

When we were growing up, my mom had a few catch phrases that when we heard them, we knew she meant business.  It was the verbal equivalent of "the look".  In our house, one such phrase was, "Enough is enough!"  And never was the definition of "enough" more clear than when my mom would say those words.  Whatever was happening in that moment - whatever had triggered that phrase - immediately stopped.  Because when mom's had enough, you best be stoppin'.

Nowadays, I don't think enough holds the same meaning.  Somewhere along the way, we've equated enough with more.  The messages are all around us.  If you lose more weight, you'll be skinny enough.  Once you get a bigger house, you'll have enough space.  When you get that promotion, you'll have enough money.  Once you have more, you'll have enough; when you are more, you will be enough.

We refer to enough as if it belongs in the future.  As if it is a state we will one day reach once we have closed the gap between now and then with something more - some achievement, or acquisition, or some change we make within ourselves.  Then, it will be enough; then, we will be enough.  Future tense.  But enough belongs in the now.  Enough is for today.  Enough is for the present moment.  Because who we are, in this very moment, is enough.  No qualifiers, no caveats, no exceptions.  Just enough.

My daughter and I talk about "enough-ness" a lot.  She is a perfectionist and I don't know that "enough" exists in the vocabulary of perfectionists.  And now that high school is in the picture, in her eyes, the stakes have never been higher.  But I want her to know that she is not defined by her successes and failures and that her achievements do not determine her worth.  I don't want her to think that being enough is something to be measured by something else or anyone else.  I don't want her enough-ness to be dependent on anything.  

I want her to know in her bones that she is enough.  I want her to know it and breathe it and I want her to feel in the depths of her soul.  I want her to feel it in the very tips of her toes and bottoms of her feet so that it grounds her to this earth so she cannot be shaken from that truth.  

Can you imagine the grace we would give ourselves if we truly believed that at any given moment we are enough just as we are?  Even those times that we are the worst versions of ourselves; impatient, scared, angry, thoughtless, careless... it's okay.  We don't have to be perfect or fit any sort of image in our minds or in the eyes of others.  We are enough, even if that is broken, bruised, scarred and every shade of less than perfect.  We are enough.  We always have been and we always will be.  

What if instead of resenting or trying to hide all those broken parts, we wrapped them with love and acceptance?  What if we freed them from judgement?   What if we believed they don't take away from who we are and trusted they don't make us any less than?  Imagine how our wounds would heal and those insecurities would wilt in the light of our own love and grace.  

The next time you're tempted to listen to those messages of needing to be more in any shape or form, pause to take a breath and remember you are enough.  Refuse to be bullied by messages of self-doubt whether they're coming from within or from the world around you.  Instead, quiet those voices.  Hold your head up and move forward with the strength and confidence of knowing that you - wonderful, beautiful you - are already enough.  And as my mom would say, enough is enough.